Assalaam Alaikum dear brothers and sisters in Islam…
Our topic today is about a very dangerous social disease, which has spread among most of us today; it is backbiting and gossip. Backbiting in Islam is a great sin which we are to move away from but it is so sad that it has become a norm among us now. Explaining backbiting in Islam will widen our understanding about this evil attitude and also caution us against it.
As Muslims, Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) wanted us to be united as one but one of the things that hinder this is backbiting. Allah says:
“And hold fast, all of you together, to the Rope of Allah, and do not be divided among yourselves. And remember Allah’s favour on you, for you were enemies one to another but He joined your hearts together, so that, by His Grace, you became brothers.” (Surah Ali ‘Imran – 103-113)
Indeed, one major cause of our division today is backbiting and gossip. Backbiting is a worst disease that breaks trust, destroys relationships, and poisons the hearts of individuals and communities. Allah had warned us of this great disease that we should avoid it as He says:
O you who have believed, avoid much [negative] assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin. And do not spy or backbite each other. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his brother when dead? You would detest it. And fear Allah; indeed, Allah is Accepting of Repentance and Merciful. (Al-Quran 49:12)
Imagine the horror of eating the flesh of your brother, your dead brother! Oh this is impossible. You can’t eat the flesh of your brother while it’s alive not to talk of his dead flesh. This is a comparison to awaken our conscience and remind us of the severe consequences of this sin.
What is the definition of backbiting in Islam?
The definition of backbiting in Islam was given to us by the prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) when he said to his companions:
Do you know what backbiting is?’ they replied: ‘Allah and his Messenger know best’ He (peace and blessings be upon him) said: ‘It is saying something about your brother which he would dislike’.
Then someone asked: ‘What if I say something about my brother which is true?’ The prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) then replied; ‘If what you say about him is true, it is backbiting and if it is not true then you have slandered him” (Sahih Muslim)
The above hadith explains the full definition of backbiting in Islam. It encompasses speaking ill of someone in their absence, even if what is said is true. Backbiting isn’t limited to outright insults; it includes any remark, gesture, or implication that would hurt or humiliate someone if they were to hear it or know about it.
To understand how worse this attitude is, another comparison is that of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) when he was sitting one day with his companions and one of them was speaking badly about someone who wasn’t there. As the man got up to leave, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said to him:
“Pick and clean Your Teeth!” “The man said but I haven’t eaten anything.” the Prophet “(peace and blessings be upon him) said “No, you have eaten the flesh of your brother”.
Common causes of backbiting
The gravity of backbiting in Islam isn’t something that can be taken with levity thus we need to know the root causes in order to abstain from them.
1. Envy and Jealousy
Envy (hasad) is a significant root cause of backbiting. When a person envies another’s blessings, they may attempt to diminish their worth through harmful speech behind them. This behavior originates from dissatisfaction with Allah’s decree, which is itself an ailment or disease. The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) warned against envy:
“Beware of envy, for it devours good deeds like fire devours wood.” (Abu Dawood)
Rather than backbiting out of jealousy, Islam encourages us to show gratitude for what He bestows on others and then seek Allah’s blessings for ourselves.
2. Peer Pressure
Sometimes, people engage in backbiting to fit in a group or to avoid being excluded. The desire for social acceptance can lead individuals to adopt harmful behaviors, including backbiting or gossiping about others. Islam teaches us to prioritize righteousness over seeking social approval. Allah says:
“And cooperate in righteousness and piety, but do not cooperate in sin and aggression.” (Quran 5:2)
3. Desire to Appear Superior
Some people backbite to feel better about themselves by belittling others. This sense of superiority is rooted in arrogance (kibr), which Islam condemns totally.
“So do not claim yourselves to be pure. He knows best who is righteous.” (Quran 53:32)
Additionally, the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said:
“He who has, in his heart, an atom’s weight of arrogance will not enter Paradise.” (Sahih Muslim)
4. Humor and Jest
Backbiting often occurs as harmless jokes or light-hearted remarks. Unfortunately, such humor can deeply wound others and create hatred. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) warned against causing harm through words, even in jest:
“A person may utter a word thoughtlessly that causes him to slip into the Hellfire farther than the distance between the east and west.” (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)
Islam encourages laughter if the need arises and joy but within boundaries that uphold respect and dignity for everyone. Allah advises us to avoid mocking others:
“O you who have believed, let not a people ridicule [another] people; perhaps they may be better than them…” (Quran 49:11)
Islamic teachings on self-reflection to combat backbiting
Islam teaches us self-reflection rather than criticizing others. Instead of focusing on others’ flaws, we should rather work on improving ourselves. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said:
“Blessed is he who is occupied with his own faults over the faults of people.” (Musnad al-Bazzar 6237 Fair according to Ibn Hajar)
Recognizing these root causes is the first step toward eliminating this harmful attitude and earning Allah’s pleasure. And by addressing these causes of backbiting, we can safeguard our tongues and hearts, while facilitating good habits and healthier communities.
The Consequences of Backbiting
Backbiting in Islam is not merely a social offense —it carries severe spiritual, social, and moral consequences. By understanding this, we Muslims can better appreciate why Islam places such a strong emphasis on avoiding this sin.
1. Punishment in the grave
Backbiting can be one of the causes for a Muslim to be tortured in his grave as Ibn ‘Abbaas narrated that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) passed by two graves and said,
“Verily, they are both being punished, but not for a sin difficult to avoid. As for one, he is punished for the habit of soiling himself with urine. As for the other, he is punished for the habit of backbiting” (Sunan Ibn Mājah 349)
2. Loss of good deeds rewards
Backbiting is also a cause of losing rewards for good deeds. Abu-Huraira narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) asked his companions:
‘Do you know who is the bankrupt’. The companions replied that the bankrupt is one who has no money or property. The prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) then said ‘A bankrupt from among you is the one who will come on the day of judgment with a good record of prayers, fasting, and Zakat.
But he has abused somebody; slandered someone; stole the property of another, or killed someone. Then all the oppressed people will receive parts of his good rewards. Until all his good rewards are finished. Their sins will be put on his own record, and then he will be thrown in the hell fire.”
(Sahih Muslim)
3. Causes of severe Punishment on the Day of judgment
Backbiting is also one of the reasons for severe punishment on the Day of Judgement. The prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
“On the night of Israa’ and Miraaj I passed by some people who had copper nails and they were scratching their faces and their chests with them. I asked Jebril: ‘Who are these people?’ He said; ‘They are being punished because they used to eat people’s flesh in their lives, i.e. used to backbite and insult others.” (Abu Dawud)
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) also said:
“O people who have believed by their tongues, and belief did not enter their hearts, do not back-bite Muslims, and do not search for their faults, for if anyone searches for their faults, Allah will search for his fault, and if Allah searches for the fault of anyone, He disgraces him in the open for everyone to see, even if he hid it in the innermost part of his house.”
(Abu Dawud)
4. Loss of Trust
Backbiting shatters trust in relationships, whether among friends, family, or community members. Trust is like a delicate vase—once broken, it is difficult to restore. A single instance of backbiting can undo years of mutual respect and affection.
5. Causes community discord
When backbiting spreads, it creates divisions within a community. Small remarks can snowball into larger conflicts, breaking the unity and harmony that Islam values so deeply. Allah warns against actions that brings discord and disunity:
“Indeed, the believers are but brothers. So make settlement between your brothers.” (Quran 49:10)
“O you who have believed, avoid much [negative] assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin. And do not spy or backbite each other.” (Quran 49:12)
Where talking behind someone is permissible?
While backbiting in Islam is a grave sin, there are exceptional circumstances in which speaking behind our brothers’ backs is permissible; provided that one aims, by using it, to achieve a religiously sound purpose that cannot be achieved except through backbiting. This can occur in the following cases as follows:
1. Reporting Injustice to Seek Help
Islam permits backbiting in cases where it is necessary to address injustice. For instance, if you are wronged and seek assistance from a person in authority, you are allowed to describe the situation honestly, even if it involves mentioning the wrongdoer’s faults.
“Allah does not like the public mention of evil except by one who has been wronged. And Allah is ever Hearing and Knowing.” (Quran 4:148)
For example, a person who has been defrauded can explain the details to law enforcement or a judge without this being considered sinful backbiting. This exception safeguards individuals’ rights while upholding justice.
2. Warning Someone of Potential Harm
Backbiting in Islam is also permissible if the intention is to protect others from harm. This might involve warning someone about a dishonest business partner, an unsafe environment, or a potential threat. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) provided guidance on this matter when he said:
“Whoever among you sees evil, let him change it with his hand. If he cannot do so, then with his tongue. If he cannot do so, then with his heart, which is the weakest level of faith.” (Muslim)
For instance, if a person knows that someone is seeking marriage with an individual of bad character, it is their duty to inform the prospective spouse about this, provided their intent is purely to prevent harm, not to gossip or defame.
Another case is warning Muslims and raising their awareness of the enemies of Islam, especially if the enemies are from inside, such as they might be Muslims but they work, think, and plan against Islam.
3. Seeking a Fatwa by Describing a Situation Truthfully
Another permissible instance of backbiting in Islam is when one seeks a fatwa (Islamic ruling) from a scholar or religious authority. Describing a situation truthfully, even if it involves mentioning another person’s actions, is allowed to obtain accurate guidance.
This principle is illustrated in the Hadith of Hind bint Utbah, who approached the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) regarding her husband’s stinginess:
“Hind said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, Abu Sufyan is a miserly man, and he does not give me what is sufficient for me and my children unless I take it from him without his knowledge.’ He said: ‘Take what is sufficient for you and your children, on a reasonable basis.’” (Sahih Bukhari)
Hind’s disclosure of her husband’s fault was not deemed sinful, as it served the purpose of seeking lawful guidance.
4. Making a description about someone based on his or her defects
The last case in which Muslims are allowed to talk about others, without considering it as backbiting, is when you identify someone as a blind, deaf, or handicapped person, as a way of describing them without meaning any insult or degradation. The objective is to identify them as they are known.
However, if we can avoid mentioning their handicap, and find other ways to identify them, such as a name, then this would be better.
What to Do If You’ve Backbitten Someone
Backbiting in Islam is a serious transgression, yet Islam provides a path for those who seek to rectify their mistakes. The process of seeking forgiveness for backbiting requires humility, sincerity, and a strong resolve to change. Here’s a step-by-step guide to cleanse oneself from this spiritual ailment.
1. Apologize Sincerely to the Person (if it will not cause further harm)
If you’ve spoken ill of someone behind their back and it’s possible to approach them without causing more harm, a sincere apology is the first step. This involves acknowledging the wrong, expressing regret, and asking for their forgiveness. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) emphasized the importance of reconciliation in a Hadith:
“Whoever has wronged his brother in any way, let him seek his forgiveness today before there will be no dirham or dinar, but if he has good deeds, they will be taken from him in proportion to the wrong he did.” (Sahih Bukhari)
However, if approaching the person would lead to more conflict or hurt, scholars recommend alternative methods to seek forgiveness, as outlined below.
2. Make Dua for the Person You Wronged
If direct reconciliation is not feasible, making dua (supplication) for the person is a powerful way to seek forgiveness. This involves praying for their well-being, success, and blessings in this life and the Hereafter. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said:
“The supplication of a Muslim for his brother in his absence will certainly be answered. Every time he makes a supplication for good for his brother, the angel appointed for this particular task says: ‘Ameen, may it be for you too.’” (Sahih Muslim)
By praying for the person, it could be a way to replace the harm caused by your words with a sincere act of kindness, demonstrating your commitment to making amends.
3. Seek Allah’s Forgiveness Through Repentance
True repentance involves more than asking for Allah’s forgiveness—it requires a heartfelt effort to turn away from the sin. The process of tawbah (repentance) entails three essential steps:
- Acknowledge the wrong: Recognize that speaking ill of someone behind their back violates the teachings of Islam.
- Feel genuine remorse: Feel sorrow for the harm caused and regret engaging in such behavior.
- Commit to avoiding it in the future: Make a sincere intention to never indulge in backbiting again.
Allah’s mercy is vast, and He promises forgiveness to those who sincerely repent:
“And those who, when they commit an immorality or wrong themselves [by transgression], remember Allah and seek forgiveness for their sins—and who can forgive sins except Allah?—and who do not persist in what they have done while they know.” (Quran 3:135)
Backbiting in Islam is not merely a verbal mistake; it is a spiritual disease that corrupts the soul, damages relationships and destroys community harmony. Allah, in His infinite wisdom, warns against this grave sin”
“And do not backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his brother when dead? You would detest it.”(Quran 49:12)
Let’s always keep to the above verse and before uttering words about another, one must pause and ask: Would I say this if they were present? The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) provided a clear guidance that:
“Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him speak good or remain silent.”(Sahih Bukhari and Sahih Muslim)
As believers, let us commit to purifying our tongues and hearts, for the sake of Allah and the well-being of our communities. When we avoid backbiting, we align ourselves with the values of justice, compassion, and mutual respect that form the bedrock of the faith. Another grave sin like backbiting is slandering too which one must avoid by all means. You can read about slandering being one of the major sins to avoid.
O Allah, guide our tongues to speak what is pleasing to You, protect us from the sin of backbiting, and forgive us for our shortcomings. Aameen
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